Sad on World Smile Day
So today is #WorldSmileDay and I’m doing what I can to be smiley.
With work almost finished for today, it’s almost time to stop and rest for a while. I’ll be eating some milk bottles and drinking some fizz because it’s been a challenging 48 hours.
--- So this was meant to be a tweet, but became too long, so, hi haha ---
Yesterday I started looking for support for my girlfriend. She has on occasion seen some of my episodes and it’s not nice. So I wanted to check out the support available for her. In doing so I realised that I wasn’t actually ok and I’m struggling more than I’m prepared to admit to myself. I am so much more on board with supporting and helping someone else than myself.
I saw a Doctor yesterday afternoon in my lunch break and he was ace (I’ve not seen him before). He changed my meds straight away, booked me in for a check up in 2 weeks and said he’d call me Monday after reviewing my file with some colleagues.
For a while yesterday I felt yay, I had that buzz of I've acknowledged it and there may even be some support available. But this morning I sat looking at my new medication feeling resigned to the fact there will not be any more help and these new meds just mean I'm getting worse not better.
As I took my first dose of sertaline a tear left my eye.
Hopefully Monday will bring good news and more information. Hopefully my mood lightens when I eat the rest (ok, I've started eating now) of the milk bottles and hopefully this new medication helps with the episodes.
Im clinging onto the high functioning aspect of my illness in that I have a few tasks I want to get ticked off at home and work is going well. Apart from this bit now, when I've turned a quick tweet into a 20 minute bit of writing.
We are all on journeys, mines is taking longer than I want, but I'm trying to make more of an effort to keep moving.
<Insert your own meaningful quote>
I hope you are smiling today, its Friday and World Smile Day, so treat yourself to something. If things aren't great, thats ok. Just remember your not alone and this is not the end. You got this!