Searching for a Counsellor

Following on from my recent health checkups and reflections, it's become increasingly apparent that I need to re-engage with support. I have spoken to a GP, who is recommending Talking Therapies, a local NHS service. However, this is predominantly group based, and while this has been helpful before, it's not a form of therapy that I feel will work for me right now.

Because of a lack of suitable NHS support, which the GP acknowledges, I am looking into private counselling. This is something I have previously considered, but a combination of cost, lack of prioritisation and avoidance has meant I never really looked into it. The recent physical and mental health issues I'm having has now made this a priority.

I started by looking at British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy website, and reading through the directory. I also looked through the Counselling Directory. Both of these provided an insight to the type of filtering you can do, to more quickly identify the counselling and therapy available. From here you can read about the type of support offered, the training and accreditation each Counsellor/ Therapist has. Initially looking through the directory felt really helpful, in seeing what support was out there. But very quickly, it became overwhelming. I became hyper-focused on working out who 'the best' Therapist available was. I compaired what they covered/ supported, I looked at their different accreditations, and training. And not in like a let's check they are legit helpful way. But like I'm googling how this course compares to that course. Is this field of study deemed to be more educated/ well trained?

After a week or so of looking, I decided there where five therapists that I'd like to contact, but thought I'd start with emailing two, which then lead to having phone calls with each of them with 10 days. I considered contacting the remaining three, but the two phone calls I'd had, both felt like Therapists I could work with. In the end after all the thinking, my choice was really a vibe based one. After all the research and over thinking, I began to realise, it maybe doesn't actually matter who 'the best' is. It's about who 'best for me'.

I know theres no guarantee, we could have a couple of sessions and it not work, then I go back to my list. But I'm hopeful. I have contacted my new therapist, and now have a first session booked for a months time.

The whole process was so strange. I'm so used to the health care system of, this is all there is; so you have whats offered or nothing. However inconvenient it maybe. The idea of looking, filtering and considering what I would like, or who I feel I would connect with best to open up was honestly wild! It was a very strange mindset.

Money is tight at home, and there's never a good time. But now is the time I really need to put some focus on my mental wellbeing.

If you are thinking about counselling do consider/ check:

• Professional Body: Check for registration with recognised organisations such as the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP), the UK Council for Psychotherapy (UKCP), or the National Counselling and Psychotherapy Society (NCPS).

• Clinical Supervision: A good private therapist will attend regular professional supervision to monitor and improve their clinical work and ensue they are working safely.

• Your Specific Issues: Check if the therapist has training or experience dealing with the challenges you are experiencing. That could be anxiety, trauma, or relationship issues. Linked to this is also the delivery, online or in person. Consider what you feel more comfortable with and what will fit in with your other commitments, and check if the Therapist offers that delivery.

• Therapeutic Approach: Read their bio and check their website to see if their style aligns with you. How do they talk, what are their values, do they have a particular approach.

• Consultation/ First Session: Most Therapists offer this, it's a great way to find out a bit more about them, but more so to get a vibe or gut feeling. The connection or welcomeness you feel is a big indicator of whether therapy with this Theripist will work for you.

I'm hopeful for my first session, but also confident if it's not working after 3 or 4 sessions, I can find someone else. That's an important thing to remember, someone can be amazing, but they might just not be the right person for you; and that's ok.

Try again, find your person and keep that journey going.

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The content of this post is written from my perspective and about my lived experience. I am not a medical professional. If you'd like to talk to someone please use the links on the CONTACT page.